Bereavement by suicide

“It felt like a grenade was dropped in the room”.

Someone once told me this was what it felt when the news of a suicide was first heard. The image stuck with me. I imagined little pieces of shrapnel flying towards every possible direction, hitting everything in their path, leaving a mark on everyone in that room.  Some pieces hit immediately, and some would fly slowly, like in a film where the image is played in a slow motion.

The effects of a death by suicide can be much like this grenade. Like stone skipping, they can manifest themselves through a ripple effect, with the circle expanding further and further, new circles appearing, and many lives being affected.

At the Tomorrow Project, we understand that every set of circumstances are different, and we will meet you, emotionally, where you are. Whether you would like emotional support through this incredibly difficult time, or have needs of a more practical nature – we are here.

 Drop us a phone call, email us, or just pop in for a cup of tea (or coffee, for all the coffee lovers out there) and a chat. Or we can meet you at your favourite café. There is no timeframe or age limit to access our service – we are here to support you when you are ready.

Bereavement Support Team
7 Mansfield Road

Mobile: 07594008356
Phone: 0115 934 8445

Suicide Bereavement Project Worker


On Friday 12th May 2017 at 6pm (start 6:30) we are screening Little Miss Sunshine to raise money, and awareness for Harmless & Cafe Sobar.

The event coincides with mental health awareness week and is meant to challenge stigma and discrimination, as well as fundraise for both life saving, non profit organisations.

Everyone is welcome and entry is a suggested donation of £3. Tickets can be purchased online in advanced, in Cafe Sobar or OTD on the night.

“Thriving is about Joy – Relationships – Creativity – Passion. It is about doing what you love and thoroughly enjoying it. It is about having a balance between career and personal life and even often about blending career with personal passion.”

We will be hosting raffles and selling light refreshments during the event. So whats not to love? Come on down and support us in our life saving work.

YOGA FOR MENTAL HEALTH – Harmless fundraiser

Date: Tuesday 9th May AND Thursday 11th May.

Time: 7 – 8am both days. 

Location: Merchant’s Court, 2 Stanford Street, Nottingham NG1 7BQ

Entry: £10 per ticket and purchase through the Harmless shop.

This year The Mental Health Foundation, during mental health awareness week, has taken a new positive turn. They have decided instead of asking why so many people are living with mental health problems, they are going to look at why too few of us are thriving with good mental health.

“Thriving is about Joy – Relationships – Creativity – Passion. It is about doing what you love and thoroughly enjoying it. It is about having a balance between career and personal life and even often about blending career with personal passion.”

“Thriving is about having meaning in everything you do.”



“Self care includes any intentional actions you take to care for your physical, mental and emotional health”.


At Harmless we encourage self care every day, not only to our clients but to our delegates and our team. We understand the importance of self care…and after all, thriving starts with self care……and thats exactly why we are thrilled to be teamed up with Sarah Harrison from HotPod Yoga Notts to bring you these very special events.

Whats so great about yoga? Well…we’re glad you asked!

Yoga is aimed to unite the mind, the body and the spirit. Through the practice of yoga, the mind can be trained to relax through deep breathing and become focused while holding the breath. This practice is said to lead to control of the mind.

Yogis (those who do yoga) believe that yoga can reduce, and eventually prevent, the build up of repressed emotions in the mind. The process is gradual but the effects, if yoga continues to be practiced, are lasting. “Yoga is a very effective stress reduction and relaxation tool.

And if you still aren’t convinced, here are the top ten reason to try HotPod Yoga this Mental Health Awareness week:

  1. Stress relief.
  2. Improves psychological wellbeing.
  3. Helps with anxiety and depression.
  4. Better breathing.
  5. Increased flexibility.
  6. Boosts memory and improves concentration.
  7. Weight management.
  8. Improved circulation.
  9. Hotpod yoga is cardiovascular.
  10. Teaches you to focus on the present & be mindful. (Essential to thriving!)
  11. Inner peace.
  12. And our favourite one….its perfect for self care.

All proceeds raised go straight to Harmless and will allow us to continue our life saving service. So book yours today by clicking here and not only will you be supporting your own mental health but you’ll be saving lives in the process. 


If you’d like to get involved in some fundraising events, email to find out more.

NEW: Catch Up Cafe Dates

The dates for the *NEW* catch up café are here!

We have been holding monthly Catch Up Cafes here at Harmless and they have been a real success! Following feedback and a focus group, a need for a catch up café was identified. We created a warm, welcoming and encouraging environment for our clients to come and chat amongst each other, along with our friendly staff.


April 12th – 3.30-4.30pm

May 10th – 4-5pm

June 14th – 3.30-4.30pm

The cafes are aimed at those 18+. Our staff will be on hand to provide information on how our service can support you and those you know. They will take place once a month at our Nottingham city office.


7 Mansfield Road

See you at the Catch Up Café

“I have lost someone to suicide, how do I get help?”

At The Tomorrow Project, our Suicide Bereavement Pathway is open to anyone who has experienced traumatic bereavement by suicide. We understand that this type of bereavement is particularly difficult, with a lot of complex feelings and questions.

What we can provide is practical and emotional support, to help guide you through this confusing and difficult time. We can help with issues surrounding finance, debt, employment, housing and many other things, we can also provide information and support throughout the inquest process which is often new to many bereaved people. We’re also here for emotional support too, for when you need to speak to someone about how you’re feeling, and what your needs might be so that we can support you towards finding that help.

Reaching out is not always the easiest thing to do, but we are here, and we want to help. You can refer in to us through a variety of different ways, you can call us on 0115 934 8445, e-mail us at ask your doctor to get in touch with us, ask a friend, message us on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or even if there’s someone you know who is struggling and you’d like to find out what support is available then please let us know.

Bereavement by suicide is uniquely devastating and we know how much impact this can have on family, friends, colleagues and the community. This isn’t something that anyone should have to face alone, and that’s why we’re here so please, let us be there for you.

In the News: My chickens saved my life

I thought, if they can cope with the trauma they have experienced, then I’ve got to find the strength myself

I took my first overdose at 11, my second at 18 and my third just after my 21st birthday. It was a cry for help. I had lovely parents, but I was desperately unhappy.

I was sexually abused at the age of eight, in the 1960s. I was afraid I’d get the cane if I told a teacher, so I didn’t tell anyone. When my parents found out, all hell broke loose. The abuser went to jail, but I never spoke about it. I couldn’t face it.

I left school at 15 and worked for Royal Mail, first as a telegram boy and then as a postman. We’d finish at 12.30pm and go straight down the boozer. I’d have three or four pints, five, sometimes. Alcohol masked my depression, and by my early 30s I had become dependent. If I got bladdered, I could kick the demons out. One Christmas, I drank 48 cans of Carling in two days. I ended up in hospital. The doctor said, “You either pack in the drinking or you’ll die.”

That’s when, aged 34, I went to rehab and there followed six years without a drink. I lost six stone in weight and started cycling 15 miles to work and back. I’d never felt so fit.

Then, in 1997, I fell in love. It was a beautiful sunny day, we’d been to the Cotswolds and I had a beer. One became two, two became three… It was the ladder to oblivion.

To read the full article, please click here.

Why we need to be careful when posting things about self harm and suicide…

Most people mean well when posting about self harm and suicide, but it’s so important that:

1. Never mention any methods of harm as anyone innocently reading can be ‘triggered’ by such things. Someone contemplating suicide may be more likely to act upon their thoughts if exposed to talk of methods.

2. Always ensure if you’re posting about where someone can get help that YOU know where you’re sending them. You post a support number- for who? Are they limited by age? Gender? Country? What help will they offer? Hopeline is awesome but only for young people, Samaritans is great for listening, but they won’t actually intervene. Be informed. The only thing worse than not seeking help is being sent to somewhere that can’t help you when you’re already feeling hopeless.

3. Don’t post stories that glamorise suicide or self harm. Even celebratory posts about someone who has died by suicide are KNOWN to have a detrimental effect and can increase the likelihood of people dying by suicide. Often people who are suicidal are comforted by the thought that they will be missed fondly, or feel so awful about themselves that no matter how bad the impact they leave – they still believe that people are better off without them.


  • Do post things that promote talking and help-seeking.
  • Do tell people that suicide is something that can be stepped back from with the right help.
  • Do listen.
  • Be ready to have a conversation .

Something like:

“Suicidal thoughts are normal for many people. With the right help and support you can get through this and if you need to talk, I am here.”


Thought about fundraising for us? And want to save lives whilst doing so?….Then you’re in the right place!

We are looking for wonderful people to join us in fundraising to reach our 30K in 90 days target.

All money raised will go directly into providing help services for people in distress. We want to ensure that any one, of any age, facing any problem can get the help that they need. Suicide and mental health struggles are far too common and it is so important that we keep providing a high level of help when people need it the most.

For an idea of what impact donating has, every week on average, we receive 6 new requests for face to support and each lifesaving therapy session costs £25.

All ideas welcome, let us know what you have in mind…the more imaginative and creative the better! Here are a few of our favourite below:

- Bake sales (always go down a treat)

- Sky dive

- Fun runs

- Three peaks challenge

- Mount Kilimanjaro

- London Marathon (if you fancy a challenge!)

- Book sales

- Bring and buy sale

- Auctions/raffles

- Car war!

- Come Dine with Me. (for all the foodies out there!)

- Super market packing

- Coffee morning

- Bingo

- Fancy dress days

- Busking (Ideal for all the music lovers)

- Art exhibition

- Craft off

- Non uniform days

- Pub quiz!

Every penny raised truly goes a long way, please help us to continue to help the community.

If you think you can help us, and want to get involved, please email and you could be helping us to save lives.

Get your Earlybird tickets to our Event before the end of March!

Join us on Saturday 7th October to celebrate 10 years of Harmless!


To mark the 10th anniversary of Harmless and a successful 5th year of the Tomorrow Project, we’ll be holding our annual celebration event on Saturday 7th October 2017 at Ruddington Grange Golf Club.


The Venue:

Ruddington Grange Golf Club, Wilford Road, Ruddington, NG11 6NB


The Date:

Saturday 7th October 2017


The Time(s):

6:30pm arrival for a 7:00pm start


The Cost:

£40.00 per head

Current Earlybird offer of £35 per head if booked and paid before the end of March!


The Event:

Three course meal with raffle, silent auction, games and live music from the Monroe Acoustic Duo and the Monroe Band featuring Polly Yates.


Click here to watch a video of the Monroe Band


Dress Code:



The purpose:

To raise enough money to save more lives.


If you would like more information on the event, please do not hesitate to contact us on 0115 934 8445 or you can send an email to


Harmless is an award winning self harm and suicide prevention project that has been successfully delivering services for the past 10 years, since 2007. Over the past year Harmless has gone from strength to strength. We’ve increased our partnerships and been involved in more research based projects, attended and presented at conferences all over the UK in addition to holding a National conference of our own. We have also extended our training programme to raise awareness of self harm, mental health & suicide amongst the community and professionals. We have received awards for our work and recruited more staff in order to help more people.

Our wonderful Tomorrow Project continues to deliver suicide prevention and postvention work in the community. We have now been commissioned by the EMAHSN to provided two new suicide prevention pathways for both Suicide Crisis and Suicide Bereavement within Nottingham City, this will soon be rolled out to Nottinghamshire County also. We work with those directly and indirectly affected by suicide, provide facilitative support to individuals and organisations with questions and concerns about suicide, deliver workshop style information sessions to improve understanding and awareness of suicide and self harm, and promote help seeking in the community as a whole.

The celebration evening will mark a major milestone in our work, as we celebrate our 10th anniversary, and give us the opportunity to raise revenue to keep our vital services afloat. Each year we spend time with friends and colleagues, celebrating the work that we have done and the lives that we have saved and the money we raise on the night goes directly back into our life saving services.

Please come along and join is in what will be a wonderful night, learn more about our work, celebrate our triumphs and help us to raise money to keep us driving services in the field of self harm and suicide prevention forwards.

If you would like more information on the event, please do not hesitate to contact us on 0115 934 8445 or you can send an email to

The Secret to Happiness

Monday was International Happiness Day, what is this, I hear you say, it’s a day to be happy of course.

The United Nations has been celebrating this day since 2013, as a way to recognise the importance of happiness in the lives of people around the world.

I found some really interesting information about the secret to happiness that I wanted to share with you.

We are encouraged to lead a happy life and want the people we love to be happy too. To do this we need to rethink our priorities, our actions and choices can affect our happiness. What makes us happy has less to do with our money or possessions and more to do with our attitudes and relationships with other people.


The secret to happiness and wellbeing is

‘If you want to feel good do good’.


There are ten keys to happier living.

  • Do things for others -connect with people –  When we’re together everything’s better
  • Take care of your body – Be active, relax, rest, repeat daily
  • Live life mindfully – There more to life when you stop and notice.
  • Keep learning new things – Find time to lose yourself in what you love
  • Have goals to look forward to – It helps to know what you’re looking forward to
  • Find ways to bounce back – If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it
  • Looks for what’s good -See life for what it is but focus on the good bits
  • Be comfortable with who you are – Don’t compare your insides with other people’s outside
  • Be part of something bigger – The meaning of life is a life with meaning.


For more information please see