What does it feel like to be suicidal?
Have you ever felt as though you are completely lost? Like you’re alone in this world, completely alone, and no matter how much you ache for another human being to wrap their arms around you and make you feel safe again- it feels as though there’s no one in the world that could do that for you. Despite having people who you love, there’s something that stops you picking up the phone- you might not want to bother them, or worry them… You might just not have the words or courage to start a conversation.
Or maybe something has just happened in your world and the grief is intolerable- it’s blinding you. You see no way forwards; no answers… No solutions. Just more problems. More intolerable pain.
People become suicidal for all different reasons and in all circumstances.
For some a single devastating event can be enough to tip someone into a dark enough place where suicide seems like a viable option. For others, a cumulative effect of many experiences, or depression may be the reason that hope becomes a lost state and without hope, we can each get terribly lost in our own darkness.
Hope is vital. It keeps us alive. It helps us to face tomorrow, overcome our problems, identify help and ask for it. Hope means believing that things can get better.
Being without hope means that in spite of loving relationships or professional success, regardless of how other people see us or our futures, we see no point in going forwards.
And whilst we at Harmless and The Tomorrow Projecy fully understand these feelings- we also know that no matter how bad things are or feel, they can get better. We also don’t expect people who are feeling that bleak to be able to believe us- instead we do the work that we do in spite of that.
Finding words to describe such a dark place can feel close to impossible; even if you can, finding the courage to say them out loud makes speaking out such a difficult thing to do.