In the News – Some mental health services are telling patients: ‘If you really wanted to kill yourself, you would have done it’

People are encouraged to seek help if they are feeling suicidal like never before. Yet a deadly new mix of funding cuts and dangerous ideas about suicide are leaving many people with long-term conditions at greater risk.

Tom is 22 and has made a couple of serious attempts on his life following prolonged periods of depression. “When I regained consciousness after the last attempt”, he said, “I was told ‘If you really want to kill yourself, you would have done it’.” Tom, like many other people, feels like when he now contacts the crisis team, they treat him brusquely. “It is like they will only take me seriously if I actually die”, he continued. “I am told again and again ‘well if you really want to kill yourself, that’s your choice’.”

We are not talking about nuanced Schopenhauerian conversations about the right to die here. In the context of deep despair, the idea of choice is a deadly one, absolving the other party from doing everything they can to help the person in pain. If one is suicidal it is very difficult to feel any hope that things might change; one is often exhausted. It is crucial that hope is held actively by mental health professionals at these bleakest moments in a life.

To read the full article, please visit: 

Charity Tuesday

Today is Charity Tuesday! As we approach the end of the working day (for most), why not finish off by supporting our life-saving suicide prevention work? You could start up a fundraiser, make a one-off donation or monthly transfer, host a bake sale, or even take part in a sponsored run. The possibilities are endless! By providing this support, you will be helping us to save more lives.

Let’s make this week’s Charity Tuesday one to remember. Become a lifesaver and support us today!

Help us save lives, we need your support

Would you help us to keep our life saving support services afloat? We are appealing for regular monthly donors. It could be £5, £10, £15…..every penny truly counts.

£25 provides one therapy sessions

£45 proves one information drop in

£80 will pay for one talk to a school

£300 provides short term intervention for someone

We need your help

If you or anyone you know have been effected by our work, or believe in what we’re doing then please consider getting behind us and making a one off or monthly donation.

We fund our work 77% ourselves by fundraising and sales and we don’t want to turn anyone away. We need your help and people need ours.

Click this link for more information and to make a monthly donation:

If you would like to talk to a member of the team about how you can donate or fundraise for us, please contact us at or call us on 0115 934 8445.

Merry Christmas from Harmless and The Tomorrow Project

On behalf of the Harmless and Tomorrow Project team, we hope you all have a safe and happy Christmas.

As we said yesterday, Christmas isn’t an easy time for everyone. While some of us are celebrating with our families, others are suffering, often in silence. People can feel isolated at this time of year, alone, or because this time of year is a time of reflection, can feel mournful and sad. It’s important to notice people around you and how they’re feeling. Often it’s not the grand gestures that can make a difference to how someone is feeling but the simple things- a phone call or text, a hug and a chat.

If you need immediate support over the next couple of weeks, please call Hope Line on 0800 068 41 41 or the Samaritans on 116 123.

Send a card, Save a life.

Harmless’ Christmas Cards are now on sale!

Help support vital self harm and suicide prevention services by sending a festive card this holiday season!

Send a card, save a life!

Premium quality cards come in packs of 8 with 2 designs and self seal envelopes

All the money raised will go directly towards supporting the ongoing work of Harmless and The Tomorrow Project and saving lives.

Buy yours in our online store: 

Can you help?

We are in desperate need of mobile phones for our clinical team. We are in need of mobile phones with basic text and calling services, unlocked to all networks or to O2.

With our growing service and all the money we raise or receive going directly to therapeutic support, we are unable to find the funds to buy phones, so we are asking you all for help.

The phones will be used by the team whilst in service and out on community based visits, so basic text and calling is all we need.

Are you able to help?

Please give us a call at 0115 880 0280 or email if you can help.

Suicide Prevention Service, The Tomorrow Project, hosts an event on 8th September exploring The Tomorrow Projects pathways, in line with World Suicide Prevention Day on September the 10th, 2017.

The Tomorrow Project will be hosting an event exploring the suicide prevention pathways, two days before World Suicide Prevention Day, 2017. Delegates will have the opportunity to hear about the life saving work we have been doing as well as hearing directly from people who have benefited from this innovative service, who will be telling their stories. The Tomorrow Project was established in South Nottinghamshire in 2012 after there were a number of deaths to suicide in a local community. By galvanising local support, bereaved families and professionals, The Tomorrow project was established to deliver services and support to reach people in distress and reduce suicide.

The Tomorrow project will also be hosting an introduction to effective risk assessment around suicide. This workshop will establish basic principles on effective risk assessment considering the following areas: Identifying risk factors, understanding & developing evidence based risk assessment tools, establishing current emotional states & behaviours and reviewing & revisiting risk.

Whilst there has been significant attention paid locally and nationally to suicide prevention, it remains a very specialist and under funded piece of work.

The bereaved by suicide also remain an overlooked group. These individuals are at an 80% increased chance of unemployment and a 1 in 10 chance of attempting suicide.

When compared with people bereaved through other causes, those bereaved by suicide are at an increased risk of suicide, psychiatric admission and depression, as well as suicide attempt and poor social functioning.

Penny Johnson, a bereaved mother, lost her son to suicide and says: “The Tomorrow Project is so vital in so many ways. Before my son died, we tried to get him help via the NHS only to be turned away because Jamie was over 18. I pleaded with them to help us, but they said that they couldn’t unless Jamie was the one asking for help but in October, 2012, Jamie took his own life. My family have been in turmoil ever since, each of us needing help in our own way and The Tomorrow Project has been there for us. I don’t know how we would have survived without them.”

The Tomorrow Project’s event is to be held at The Sir Collin Campbell building, September 8th 2017, in line with World Suicide Prevention Day. The team are incredibly excited to be hosting the event and look forward to meeting all attendees tomorrow.

A further ticketed event will be held on the evening of the 7th October at Ruddington Grange in Nottingham to celebrate the work and to raise money for the continuation of life saving work, with a drinks reception, dinner, live music and auction.

Tickets available now via:

Stranger on the Bridge study: Request for help

This is an opportunity to work with the University of Exeter in their research into how members of the public can help prevent suicide in public places. This work is inspired by Jonny Benjamin’s The Stranger on the Bridge and the University would like to hear from you if you are aged 18 or over, and fall into one of the following groups: 

1.    You have personal experience of attempting or seriously considering taking your own life in a public location and you were prevented from doing so by a stranger.

2.    You have personal experience of trying to prevent someone you didn’t know (a stranger) from taking their own life in a public location.

If you are in doubt about whether your experience fits, please get in touch to talk it through with one of the research team.

For more details see the here on the University of Exeter website, see the Information for Participants (pdf) or email

Please also share this as widely as you see fit in order to reach others who might be able to take part.

“I have lost someone to suicide, how do I get help?”

At The Tomorrow Project, our Suicide Bereavement Pathway is open to anyone who has experienced traumatic bereavement by suicide. We understand that this type of bereavement is particularly difficult, with a lot of complex feelings and questions.

What we can provide is practical and emotional support, to help guide you through this confusing and difficult time. We can help with issues surrounding finance, debt, employment, housing and many other things, we can also provide information and support throughout the inquest process which is often new to many bereaved people. We’re also here for emotional support too, for when you need to speak to someone about how you’re feeling, and what your needs might be so that we can support you towards finding that help.

Reaching out is not always the easiest thing to do, but we are here, and we want to help. You can refer in to us through a variety of different ways, you can call us on 0115 934 8445, e-mail us at ask your doctor to get in touch with us, ask a friend, message us on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or even if there’s someone you know who is struggling and you’d like to find out what support is available then please let us know.

Bereavement by suicide is uniquely devastating and we know how much impact this can have on family, friends, colleagues and the community. This isn’t something that anyone should have to face alone, and that’s why we’re here so please, let us be there for you.


Ashley Dunstan

Suicide bereavement Project Worker


A Mother’s Love

The moment your bundle’s presented
There are feelings unique and brand new,
You feel an overwhelming surge of love –
Unconditional?  You find is quite true. 

You forgive those broken nights of sleep
And forget all those four hourly feeds.
Your life seems to do a massive ‘shift’
As you tend to your little ones needs.

Your new life slowly adapts and develops,
You grow with pride at each passing phase,
You marvel at his many achievements
And coo at his endearing cute ways.

You can’t imagine life before he arrived
Or describe the joy he’s helped to create.
The richness is vast… yet exhausting,
Bring on bedtime!… you really can’t wait.

The opportunity to have five minutes to unwind,
And refresh yourself to face the new day
Because you find a ‘new’ you is evolving
And the old ‘you’ has scuttled away.

You somehow lose a piece of your identity
When you’d expected to feel more rounded.
You pray that your worries will all disappear
And that those niggling doubts are unfounded.

Your own Mum made it look so easy,
And on the surface you’re a graceful swan
But beneath you’re crazily paddling
And wondering where the really ‘you’s’ gone.

 – Written by a service user at Harmless