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Welcome to Harmless

Support at Harmless

Harmless is a user led organisation that provides a range of services about self harm and suicide prevention including support, information, training and consultancy to people who self harm, their friends and families and professionals and those at risk of suicide.

Harmless was set up by people who understand these issues and at the heart of our service is a real sense of hope. We know that with the right support and help life can get better. We hope that you find this site a safe and helpful resource.

Feel free to look around and we welcome your thoughts and feedback about our site and services.

Self Harm & Suicide Prevention Services

Harmless now deliver a range of services and also deliver The Tomorrow Project. In the last ten years we have delivered contracted and funded work for a variety of providers, but are largely self-funded through the selling of training etc. This enables us to preserve long-term and compassionate help for all those that need us.

We provide drop-in, crisis café, short and long-term support and psychotherapy. Under The Tomorrow Project we additionally deliver suicide crisis and bereavement services.

For more information or to volunteer your time and fundraising skills to keep these vital services going, please contact us.

The Harmless Approach

We believe in hope and recovery. We place people with lived experience at the heart of our service, ensuring that we deliver a broad range of service options to meet a variety of needs. Working across age and gender we do our very best to surround the people we help with compassion and practical help and support.

Unbelievably grateful for all the support https://t.co/Ija4DQykf8

RT @Localgiving: Wow! There are 4 fundraisers on 50 points vying for 20th place & a £100 prize for their #smallbutvital charity. Who will…

Sarah from @letstalknlearn is in #London today raising awareness for #Selfharm and #SuicidePrevention @OptimusEd https://t.co/GOnk2l0KKZ

Harmless Workbook: Working Through Self Harm Harmless Workbook

Available in either electronic or hard copy, Harmless have developed this workbook in collaboration with service users, therapists and the Institute of Mental Health to provide a tool that can be used to promote recovery and self reflection amongst people that self harm, encouraging alternative methods of coping.

For more information, or to find out how to buy our workbook, please follow this link.

Out of Harm's Way DVD Harmless DVD

Out of Harm's Way. Through the eyes of those with first hand experience, we examine the nature of self harm, distress and recovery. A resource both for those that self harm and for professionals.

For more information, or to find out how to buy our DVD, please follow this link.

Tips for helping young children with perfectionism There’s a perception in our society that perfectionism is a good thing, akin to ‘being perfect’; That it’s something to strive for or to drop into conversation in job interviews… Yet the reality is quite different. Perfectionism leads people to place unreasonably and often unrealistically high expectations on themselves, which, when inevitably unmet, leads to frustration and self-blame. Of course, this can be very unsettling to witness in young children and it can be hard for parents and educators to know how best to help. Perhaps you have a young child who refuses to draw because their drawings don’t look exactly like those of an adult artist. Or maybe you work with a child who has become distressed by a small mistake in their school work and who has insisted on starting the whole project again (while the rest of the class moves on…) Of course the earlier we can help children change unhealthy habits, the better. So let’s look at a few tips for how we might address this in young children. Firstly, be mindful of how you use praise. There are two ways in which we tend to praise children. ‘Content’ praise often draws attention to the end product, for example, “What a beautiful picture”, or,“That’s a fantastic block tower”. In contrast, process praise focuses on how the child got there. When we use process praise, we draw attention to their good ideas, problem solving approaches, effort, persistence, concentration and enthusiasm. While it’s helpful for all children to experience more process praise than content praise, this is particularly true for children with perfectionistic traits. This allows us to draw the focus away from how impressive the end result might (or should) be and instead highlight the importance of having a go and learning along the way. For example, rather than saying, ‘That’s a fantastic drawing of a bus! You’re an amazing artist – what were you worried about?’, it might be more helpful to say something like, ‘It’s great to see you having a go at drawing. I love watching you try new things’. Of course, most of the time we needn’t praise children at all. Saying simply, ‘Drawing is fun isn’t it?’ is often enough to provide children with that important sense of connection. Secondly, model making mistakes. Our abilities as adults generally exceed those of our children. Children may see us as perfect and strive to be the same. It’s helpful for little ones to see that we mistakes too, and importantly to also learn through our modelling how mistakes can be handled. Look for (or create!) opportunities to do this. When you’ve been asked to bring over the pencils to the table, you could bring the scissors instead and say, ‘Oops, my mistake. Not to worry. I’ll just go back and swap these over.’ Or, perhaps you could draw alongside your child and deliberately keep from drawing inside the lines, commenting as you go, ‘I love drawing with you’. By doing so, you model for your child that mistakes are okay, that they needn’t hamper your enjoyment of a task and importantly, that the end result isn’t all that matters. Thirdly, consider how you react when your child behaves in an ‘imperfect’ way. Do you respond calmly when your little one accidentally spills cereal all over the breakfast table or do you tend to overreact? It’s important when we’re teaching our children that they needn’t be perfect, that our responses back this up. By accepting our children as they are – wonderful, ‘good enough’ young learners – we teach them to do the same. And that’s so much better than perfect. https://adoseofawesomeness.com/tips-helping-young-children-perfectionism/?fbclid=IwAR0Tc7KMZk_0DysWP9vzjMFZ-T75e38mPOSycqPEnVzKqZjSaH3APkueojs

"What's it like being a man in 2019?" To coincide with Mental Health Awareness Week, BBC Sport got five men to sit down together and discuss their issues with masculinity, depression, body image and expectations. According to data from the Office for National Statistics, suicide remains the biggest killer in men between 15 and 35 in the UK. In a three-part series, Team GB sprinter James Ellington, Scottish footballer David Cox, Love Island star Josh Denzel and freestyle footballer Olumide Durojaiye open up about the issues they have faced and how they have dealt with them. James broke his leg in a motorbike accident in 2017, forcing him to withdraw from Team GB. David, who plays as a striker for Cowdenbeath, has suffered with mental health issues throughout his career. Olu was released at 18 by Tottenham Hotspur and has since played in Scotland as well as in the English non-league game - where he plays for Woking; he is now a football freestyler. Josh Denzel starred in series four of Love Island, coming third. The episodes, hosted by Ben Zand, will be released throughout this week but, before you watch, here are five poignant takeaways from the series. The first episode of Man Up is available on BBC Sport's YouTube channel 55% of men aged 18-24 feel as if crying makes them less masculine (YouGov 2018). "You don't want to be weaker than the man next to you," says Olu. "I cover my emotions with laughter, joking around being a fool." When Ben asks "Would you speak to your dad about how you're feeling?" each person at the table responds with a strong "no". David says: "Approaching your dad with something like that - he's the person you want to look the strongest in front of." Josh adds: "I'm sure if I went to my dad with a problem and I was emotional, he would have been fine with it but I'd just look at him and be like 'no way'." James says: "Sometimes you can get stuck in a rut where you suppress your emotion for so long that it becomes hard to release. Showing emotion and crying is actually a strength." Olumide Durojaiye plays for Woking 42% of men in heterosexual relationships think they should earn more than their partner (YouGov 2018). "It makes me feel good to be able to provide," says Josh. "I want to pay for the food, I want to be the alpha and be able to look after you." Olu says: "I saw my dad being the main breadwinner, working day and night, travelling up and down the country and I needed to be that. I couldn't be the man that a woman looks at and thinks: 'He's a bum.' "I needed to make money somehow because I needed to be that 'man' role that I thought my partner needed." David adds: "It's more how people perceive you. What are they on the outside thinking, looking in?" Josh came third in Love Island alongside Kaz Crossley How many times do you scroll through Instagram and start comparing yourself to the guy with a six pack standing on a beach in Bali with his Lamborghini in the background? But is any of it real? "I was in Monaco a few years ago for a competition and, although I had a really good time, most of it was spent in my room on my own," says James. "I put an Instagram post out and everyone was commenting like 'woah, you must be having a great time'." Social media can mask what a person is actually feeling. According to the 2017-18 community life survey, men (27%) are more likely than women (20%) to say they never feel lonely. As a social media influencer, Josh admits: "With the notoriety, there is a pressure to kind of live that lifestyle. I'm guilty of it massively. You end up doing things purely for gratification. "I know for a fact that if the sun's over there with the beach over here and my abs are looking sick, I know when the likes start rolling in from certain people and you hit a certain number - that gives me gratification. "That was before I had a big following. You get in your feelings about it, the more followers you have, the more people that judge and the more people that comment." "Just to be happy and have everyone around you happy - I think that should be the only expectation as a man," says Olu. James says: "We should be expected to be a bit more open and free with our emotions and not be afraid that being in touch with our feelings is emasculating - it'll make society much better." David adds: "I think what should be expected is that people shouldn't make you feel like you have to be masculine and can't talk about things. "Look at the stats and look at what's happening. Men should be able to speak out." James Ellington won gold in the 4x100m relay at the 2016 European Championships This year's Mental Health Awareness Week is focused particularly on body image, with the Mental Health Foundation releasing these stark statistics: Among teenagers, 37% felt upset, and 31% felt ashamed in relation to their body image. Just over one third of adults said they had felt anxious (34%) or depressed (35%) because of their body. One in eight (13%) adults experienced suicidal thoughts or feelings because of concerns about their body image. Reality TV shows such as Love Island have been criticised for triggering body image issues in young people. Josh, who came third last year, says: "I remember watching the first three seasons and everyone's in mad shape - the type you follow on Instagram. Then I get the call that I'm going into the villa in six weeks. "I lived in the gym before I went in and even with that I remember looking in the mirror before I went in and, even though I was shredded, I still didn't want to go in. "Even now, there's nothing worse than being on the beach, you can see a guy with an amazing six-pack walking along and you look down at yourself and feel so emasculated." Even Olu, when he was training as a footballer, struggled with how he looked. "I started to hate myself," he says. "I heard a fan shout when I was playing a couple years ago 'Oi, fat boy, pull your socks up'. "All I thought was 'flipping hell, I'm not good enough, my body's horrible' - I just hated it." https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/48218327?utm_campaign=meetedgar&utm_medium=social&utm_source=meetedgar.com&fbclid=IwAR1dcNIu8jHlNCPxyZ5gEgDNbHtEx3nH11jRRV-MIO_QCmYD1jmlI1Kmzt4

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Latest News
Tips for helping young children with perfectionism Posted Friday 17th May 2019

There’s a perception in our society that perfectionism is a good thing, akin to ‘being perfect’; That it’s something to strive for or to drop into conversation in job interviews… Yet the reality is quite different. Perfectionism l

Mental Health Awareness Week: The five things men don’t talk about enough Posted Friday 17th May 2019

“What’s it like being a man in 2019?” To coincide with Mental Health Awareness Week, BBC Sport got five men to sit down together and discuss their issues with masculinity, depression, body image and expectations. According

Eight Ways to Bring Mindfulness into Your Family Posted Thursday 16th May 2019

They can be some of the most frustrating and embarrassing child behaviors—temper tantrums, lashing out at others, impatience, and short attention spans. So what can you do about them? Research has found that having a sense of mindfulness,